The ANC is a living nightmare

When closing my eyes at night, I see the ANC. When I awaken at three in the morning, I see the ANC in my mind’s eye. When switching on the bedside radio, the first news item is about another ANC foul-up. When opening the e-edition of my favourite tabloid, the ANC has stolen another horrible headline. Television news is no better. It kicks off with an ad for some funeral parlour (appropriately, perhaps?), then on to coverage of the ANC adding to its smelly track record. During the Zondo commission broadcast, ANC cadres sprout obvious lies through their teeth. In…

When closing my eyes at night, I see the ANC. When I awaken at three in the morning, I see the ANC in my mind’s eye. When switching on the bedside radio, the first news item is about another ANC foul-up. When opening the e-edition of my favourite tabloid, the ANC has stolen another horrible headline.

Television news is no better. It kicks off with an ad for some funeral parlour (appropriately, perhaps?), then on to coverage of the ANC adding to its smelly track record. During the Zondo commission broadcast, ANC cadres sprout obvious lies through their teeth. In a nutshell, the ANC has filled its citizenry with anger, disappointment and disgust.

Good people of all hues have become miserable, sorrowful, dejected, despondent and disconsolate. Shrinks tell us we need to change our mindset and think of nice things. I tried it one morning. How about waxing nostalgic about the days of my youth?

The excitement when getting my first Raleigh sport bicycle with drop handles and fixed gear. But instead of recalling the good times I had with my fancy boneshaker, I keep thinking of all the punctures the tyres picked up – more often far from home and me having to push or carry the bike.

Out of the blue an analogy popped up. The ANC is like a flat tyre, especially the ones encasing a tube that had to be pumped full of air. No tubeless ones then. It requires three vital items: patching, “solution” and a pump. The patching consists of different sizes of rubber squares (like a box of Elastoplast).

The solution is the glue sticking the patches over the holes in the tube. But, with time, the glue becomes brittle, so the patches peel off. It’s time to replace the tube. The ANC has the patching and solution in the form of President Cyril Ramaphosa. He it is who does the patching and pumping to keep the party on the road. But thanks to the baddies surrounding him, the patches come off, the pressure applied by the president escapes through crime-ridden holes.

The ANC is left flat and has to be pushed or carried by the president. We need a tubeless tyre political party. No chance for dark holes.